Reflections

“Mock Funeral”

A well-written poem I found by Alex Graham James.  Alex does a great job of capturing a common experience of TCKs.  Did you know, according to David Pollock and Ruth Van Reken, unresolved grief is one of the greatest challenges in a TCKs life?

“Mock Funeral”

There was no funeral.

No flowers.

No ceremony.

No one had died.

No weeping or wailing.

Just in my heart.

I can’t…

But I did anyway,

and nobody knew I couldn’t.

I don’t want to…

But nobody else said they didn’t.

So I put down my panic

and picked up my luggage

and got on the plane.

There was no funeral.

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4 thoughts on ““Mock Funeral””

  1. That poem hits very deep. The person of the poem had doubts before it happened and went through it with those doubts and no resolution. When I went to the field for the first time with husband and 1 yr old in tow I went joyfully, full of anticipation, no doubts because God would enable. In reading this poem, however, I wish there HAD been a funeral. A laying to rest of all that I was in my society and culture, knowing that when I returned in 4 years time it would be different, seen out of different eyes, felt by a changed heart. I didn’t know and so felt the silent shock waves later, and dealt with them by God’s grace towards resolution. But how heavy it is to have unresolved grief. How do we breathe? How does the light break through the dullness of our darkened vision? It does, but with conscious effort.

    1. I think it must be an issue in every transition. Like you mom, you’re not a TCK, but you can still relate (and for good reason!). So what about other people who live abroad? Do military personnel experience this grief when they leave a military base overseas?

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