Reflections

Dreams of Soup

The dream starts with the realization that we would be going back to Thailand.  I would get excited and then I would look around and see that I was finally there, I was finally home. The dream would culminate in a reunion between myself and a bowl of my favorite noodle soup.  In the dream, I am ecstatic, relieved, and already planning to order some more of my favorite dishes.  (I can’t even tell you how much I missed the food in Thailand!) But then, of course, I wake up.

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 The dreams were harder when I was younger.  We moved to the States when I was 8 years old. I would wake up feeling disappointed… annoyed and angry, as if someone was purposely taunting me.  But I knew that I would only have to wait a few years before we would return to Thailand.

After the first 3 years or so in the US, we came upon the realization that returning to Thailand was unlikely… almost impossible.  That’s when the dreams changed course.  I had the same dreams (returning to Thailand, eating my favorite soup), but this time, when the dreams occurred, the impossibility of being in the place I longed for most triggered a better understanding of reality.  I would start off excited: “I’m finally back!”  and then move to “No, it’s too good to be true. it’s just another dream.”  However, once the disappointment registered, I would take advantage of this new outlet.  I would then control the dream, choosing to appear in places that I missed most and most importantly, eating as much Thai food as I could imagine (I’m telling you… the food is REALLY REALLY good!!).  Then I would wake up, feel that small twinge of annoyance… of life being unfair.  But it would be manageable, and I would move on.

So remember when I said that my deepest wish would soon come true?  Well, it’s a bit more than a wish.  This June, 2014, I am going to return to Thailand for a year.  I have volunteered for a position as a dorm assistant at the boarding school I used to attend as a kid.  It’s strange to say that my dreams are literally coming true.  But, more accurately, my prayers have been answered.

For the record, I’m not entirely convinced it’s going to happen yet.  I mean, I’ve been accepted for the position, I’ve filled out the paperwork, and the organization is talking as if it’s definite.  I even spent some Christmas money on a set of luggage.  But at the same time, I can’t help but wonder… is it foolish to believe that I’m actually going to be back?  Or is this another taunting dream?

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8 thoughts on “Dreams of Soup”

  1. Hey Harmony,
    Believe it or not I said the same thing i.e. the dream come true. Neil & I will be leaving sometimes in June, in time for TH Field Conference end June. I know I will be working as Asst Bangkok Mission Home Manager …. and that’s it. That’s all I know. Not sure what’s involved or what exactly I will be doing.
    Ever since we came to the US (a few years after your family left) I’ve been longing to go back as soon as we finished our assignment. It’s been 13 years ….. and I’m going back. I don’t know what’s next after my 6 months commitment in TH. It could be the beginning of new ministry …. or a closure to TH. I don’t know. All I know is I’ll go where He leads. Pray that He will give me strength and courage to go through it.
    Would love to have you when you are in TH.
    Aunty Wannee

    1. Thanks for sharing Aunty Wannee! It’s good to hear from you! I had no idea that you haven’t been back to Thailand since you left, but I’m glad that you will also be able to have closure. Will your boys be able to go back too? And I definitely hope that we will be able to see each other in Thailand

    1. I was just thinking about that today… about how I miss some of the seemingly unpleasant things like dirt roads, stray dogs, and even the weird smells in the food markets (like the meat section!)

  2. Our first couple of years in Colombia south America I would have a grocery store dream. In the dream I was running up and down the isle with a shopping cart throwing in things I could not get there like ham, apples, chocolate, oreo cookies. After my first trip back to the USA, the dream stopped. I no longer missed those things. Now sometimes a taste of really good Papaya or mango can bring tears to my eyes as it makes me remember Latin America. I dream of eating fresh tortillas with beans and rice and a typical plate from Guatemala.

    1. mmm, I miss getting those good fruits like papaya and mango. definitely not the same here! Have you been back to Guatemala since you left?

  3. I miss Thailand, too….the food, shopping in the markets, my market ladies, the neighbors, the staff, the church folk and church life among all the churches in central Thailand, traveling around on my Honda Dream loaded down with what I bought at the market to feed up to 30 people… speaking Thai…. raising my kids in Thailand….

    1. It’s amazing how much food impacts your life until you don’t have the same access to it. I definitely miss the food markets and riding around on the back of your Honda Dream 🙂

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